By Ken Kreps
©2001, all rights reserved
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The particular position of fame I’m referring to is that of sports analyst.
For years, the job of color commentator or sports analyst was filled by ex-jocks. In other words, people who had played the game or sport on which they were hired to comment. Some of these were quite articulate, such as Frank Gifford and Bill Walton. Some were humorous such as Dandy Don Merideth and some were as dumb as tree trunks. Still, all the color analysts were bound by one common thread. They came from the sports world and they had some expertise to offer to the radio and television audiences. Some offered more expertise than others, to be sure, but most had some information of value to offer.
That changed one day when ABC announced that Dennis Miller had been hired to fill the third chair with the on-air ABC crew that televised Monday Night Football. Ex-NFL quarterback Boomer Esiason had been fired and Dennis Miller had been hired. When I first read this over my morning coffee, I thought it must be someone’s idea of a joke on a slow news day. With all the available ex-NFL players, why would they reach into left field and hire Dennis Miller? Come to think of it, left field would have been an improvement as they would have been hiring someone who had excelled in at least one sport, even if it wasn’t football. I have nothing against Miller, who has carved out a place for himself among comedians and political iconoclasts. He had his own weekly thirty minute HBO show and he’d made an occasional movie as well as a few guest appearances on other television shows. Overall he was doing well and had a nice, solid following for his work.
Then ABC knocked at his door and Dennis accepted their offer. His first game in the booth (a preseason affair) was a disaster and he proved to know about as much concerning football as my great aunt, Matilda . He was awkward, stilted, uninformed and in general was a waste of air time, serving only to distract from Al Michaels and Dan Fouts who both knew the game and had some pertinent comments to make about what was going on.
From there it only got worse and today, the Monday Night football broadcast third chair is filled with the inane, and often unfunny, remarks of a comedian dressed in a color commentator’s suit. Recently, ABC hinted that they would probably bring Dennis back for a third season. In an attempt to appeal to the 35 and under crowd, ABC is sticking with know nothing (at least about football) Dennis and his inane broadcast booth prattle..
If Dennis Miller were the only example of this type of thinking, one could simply blow it off as a situation in which the powers that be at ABC swallowed too much happy juice at lunch one day and stuck their foot in their mouth. (or in our ears, depending on your point of view). It could have been looked upon as just an aberration if it hadn’t been followed by two, even worse, similar decisions by two different network sports shows.
Fox Sports Network hired Tom Arnold, a comedian and sometimes actor to be one of the mainstays on a new sports show they unveiled. Neither Arnold’s spastic personality or his background have anything to do with sports or sports commentary. Strike two for comprehensive sports commentary.
Finally, Jay Mohr, an actor and would be comedian was hired by this same network to be the token, "regular guy" for their Sunday morning pre-game football show. Again, a man, with no discernible credentials for the job, was hired in a "monkey see, monkey do" network decision. Strike three, you’re out.
I’m the first to admit that on a list of important priorities, sports shows rank pretty low, but when one does tune into such a show, they expect some reasonable knowledge from the participants. Miller, Arnold and Mohr bring absolutely no expertise to the table and their attempts at comedy only get in the way. When I go to a concert, I want to see performers that know more about music than I do. When I take my car to a mechanic, I want one who knows more about cars than I do. The same goes for plumbers, professional athletes, and bartenders. I want each to be far better versed in their profession than I am. Since this also holds true for television sports analysts and color men, I don’t need the network’s version of the guy next door giving me his opinions about sports. If I need that, I’ll simply seek out the guy next door.
©2001 by Ken Kreps. This article may not be re-published in electronic or print media without the express written permission of the author. All Rights reserved.
Ken Kreps lives in the Pacific Northwest with his wife. He has written a number of published articles, essays and short stories, as well as numerous consumer and business pieces. Ken has also written scripts for Imagination Theater, an award winning audio drama series heard on over 150 commercial radio stations across the nation.